Scarlett Johansson Loves Attention (Celebrity Secrets)
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Oh Scarlett, you dumb bitch. Don't you know that you’re only attracting more attention when you pull a stunt like this? Hell, even without that crudely drawn sign ["I'm being harassed by the person taking this picture"], you'd still be soliciting glances considering that you're a twentysomething white girl walking down the street flanked by two middle-aged black men wearing little signs of their own. Not something most of us see on a regular basis; at least not here in the Northern states.
Maybe next time you should just try walking down the street alone. I doubt anyone would bother you then, especially in that outfit. Although I must confess that if you did pass me by looking like that, I would probably slip you a dollar or something so you could get a nice hot Egg McMuffin or breakfast sandwich equivalent. I am a bleeding heart liberal after all.
Oh yeah, and one more thing. Leave the sign at home. It states the obvious and serves no other purpose than to attract attention. Like me showing up at Thanksgiving dinner with cum all over my face. Everybody at the table already knows I’m gay so why show-off? Ok, besides to impress the children.
Editor's Note: I think we can safely assume that the reason Scarlett Johansson was not accepted to NYU back in 2003 was because she can't fucking spell. Sorry Scarlett, but the pirates want one of their "R's" back.
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