So Dark The Con Of Ron Howard (Celebrity Secrets)
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Earlier in the week we gave our in depth and theologically insightful review of The Da Vinci Code. Yet despite our scathing opinion, it seems that miilions of you flocked to the cinema to see it for yourselves. The movie took $224 million over then opening weekend, which, according to Columbia, is the second biggest grossing opening in history,
and this is despite the valiant efforts of both Conservative Christians, and the critics, to convince you to boycott it. In many cities around the world, Church groups staged protests outside of movie theatres (seemingly, religious groups have a difficult time understanding that this tactic merely attracts viewers, which is odd, because that is pretty self evident to everyone else), chanting such catchy slogans as
"Dan Brown remember you will also be judged by Christ".
They further added that if Big J wasn't going to judge him for blaspheming, He would definitely condemn his soul to Hell for his poor prose, and for boring cinema goers everywhere. However, we suspect that Brown finds some small measure of comfort by rolling around naked in the huge piles of cash that fill his mansion.Unfortunately, we doubt that Tom Hanks will find any source of solace that will take the pain away from this fugly haircut.
Celebrity Secrets Special thank you to Source
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