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Winona Ryder and her Cleavage are Back (Celebrity Secrets)

Friday, June 30, 2006


It seems that ever since that little shoplifting incident, its subsequent trial, and the ensuing media scandal, Winona Ryder has been keeping a low profile.

Thankfully, Winona Ryder is back, and she's brought her breasts with her. Sure, it's hard for her to go anywhere without them, but she doesn't usually put them out on display so much.

And speaking of Winona's breasts being on display, don't forget that you'll be able to see them, or at least an artist rendering of them when Winona Ryder appears nude in A Scanner Darkly.


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3:32 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Jessica Alba Loves It Free And So Do I (Celebrity Secrets)




Isn't it nice to get free stuff? Unfortunately, I wouldn't know. But Jessica Alba does and she looks damn happy about it! You know, being a guy, I never get anything except the bill after a date. Fortunately, you don't need to be a celebrity to get goodies. You just have to be hot!

Anyway, I've been working hard today and I'm getting really thirsty while writing this post, so I'm going to grab myself a nice cold tasty Coke and take a drive in my sporty Lexus that has the finest leather interior out of any car I have ever driven in. After that I think I will take a vacation. I'll obviously book the flight with my favorite airline, Delta, because they have great customer service (in first class that is). And I'd eat Mc Donald’s wherever I decide to go because Big Macs are the best hamburgers ever made. Then I will return home to watch movies on the greatest TV produced by Sony because a TV is not a TV if it's not a Sony. Well, I guess that's all I need for now.

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New Brad Pitt's Id (Celebrity Secrets)



The Gulf News said the 29-year-old Jordanian had been told by his brother, who worked at the Dubai money exchange, that more than $23,000 in cash had been transferred to the bureau for a client who had not picked it up for more than three months.

The Jordanian then forged an ID using the client's name and a picture of Pitt. He hoped his brother would then be able to hand over the cash and keep a photocopy of the fake ID as record of the transfer.

The man, who was arrested on a tip from an informant, told police when he was caught that he did not know whose picture he had downloaded from the Internet. The Dubai prosecutor's office has charged the man with forgery and attempted embezzlement.

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3:22 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Victoria Beckham Walks Her Bra (Celebrity Secrets)



I really hope Victoria Beckham's exposed bra trend catches on. It would be great for major cities because this look would clean up the streets. If all women walked around in sexy lingerie, hookers would go out of business. So let's protect our kids folks.

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Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt stolen Baby Photos Returned (Celebrity Secrets)


Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's stolen photos have been returned.

Police in California have arrested a suspect, following the theft of the pictures from the couple's baby shower for new daughter Shiloh.

The digital memory card containing the photos is thought to have been put up for sale by the thief, before the police took the man in on Tuesday.

Cindy Guagenti, the couple's spokeswoman, indicated yesterday that she wasn't at liberty to go into the details of the arrest, which allegedly took place on Tuesday in California.


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Angelina Jolie offends Brad Pitt's parents (Celebrity Secrets)



Angelina reportedly offended Brad's parents by refusing to dress her new daughter in the clothes they bought her.

She is said to have balked at the pink, frilly outfits Brad's parents, Bill and Jane, splashed out on.

A source said: "Angelina knows her own mind and knows how she wants her children dressed. She doesn't like girlie, pink, frilly clothes. You can see that by how she dresses Zahara. She doesn't want her babies dressed like dolls."

The source added: "I don't think she realises how much she has upset Brad's family."

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Keira Knightley pleaded for kiss with Johnny Depp (Celebrity Secrets)


Keira Knightley has admitted she begged for an on-screen smooch with her hunky co-star Johnny Depp.
She made her plea to director Gore Verbinski on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Keira revealed: "I was saying, 'Give me one kiss, just give me one kiss'. I got it and it was good-really good."

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3:12 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Jessica Alba has the Luckiest Dog in the World (Celebrity Secrets)

Thursday, June 29, 2006




There aren't many moments in my life when I wished I was a dog. in fact, there are only three, but I'm not going to get into the first two right now. Let's just focus on this one. I want to be Jessica Alba's dog. I'd rather be Jessica Alba's boyfriend, but at this moment, I'd settle for being her dog.

Actually, from the looks of it, the dog's getting more attention, more food, and more action than her boyfriend, so I think it's the right choice. Be honest, you want to be her dog too.

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7:30 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Scarlett Johansson is Sexually Overwhelming (Celebrity Secrets)




Scarlett Johansson is the type of girl who makes you forget simple words like "door" and "spoon" and "urglflurts," so it's no surprise that Woody Allen finds her "Sexually Overwhelming." But not only is Scarlett incredibly sexy, she's a smart cookie too. According to The Sun, Woody was intimidated by Scarlett's beauty, and the fact that she can give as good as she gets when it comes to the witty repartee.

It's very hard to be extra witty around a sexually overwhelming, beautiful young woman who is wittier than you are. Anytime I say anything amusing, Scarlett tops me.


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7:27 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Mena Suvari Knows Where to Stick It (Celebrity Secrets)




Okay, pictures of celebrities pumping gas is one thing, but these Mena Suvari pictures have definitely got that extra something. Or should I say Mena Suvari has that extra something... That extra something being her ass, in case you weren't following.

But the combination of that outfit, the way she's handling that gas pump, and that Badonkadonk is definitely putting naughty thoughts in my head. Actually, I think those are the same thoughts her boyfriend is having.

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7:23 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Teri Hatcher Bikini Pictures (Celebrity Secrets)



Alright, I didn't really want to post these Teri Hatcher bikini pictures, what with her being super gross and all, but while I may be feeling nauseaus at the mere sight of Teri Hatcher in a bikini, I realise that some of you sick readers out there actually think she looks good. And this is a great opportunity for me to make fun of her.

But of all the things I hate about Teri Hatcher, her Diva hell-spawn attitude, her ridiculous lack of talent, the fact that everyday she looks more and more like Tori Spelling, I am very visually reminded that there was absolutely no reason for her to be cast in that Seinfeld episode about the woman with the spectacular breasts.

I concede, they may be real, but spectacular? No. Maybe in the sense that they are perhaps a spectacle, as in something to be laughed at or ridiculed, but they are nowhere near the perfection they were lauded to be in that classic episode of Seinfeld. And if you've seen The Cool Surface, well, you know what I mean.

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7:03 AM :: 0 comments ::

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ASIAN TEAM FIGHT FOR SEXY WORLD CUP 2006 (Celebrity Secrets)

Wednesday, June 28, 2006










ASIAN TEAM FIGHT FOR SEXY WORLD CUP 2006

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WORLD CUP 2006 DREAM PLAYER IS SEXY KEELEY HAZEII (Celebrity Secrets)









With all the bickering over cup size going on in the comments of the Amanda Bynes post just below, I figured now might be a good time to offer up a recent photoshoot of a lovely lass who at the tender age of 18 was credited with the following (all-natural) measurements:

32E-22-32

I'm sure everyone here has, at one point or another, asked themselves the important question: What would a soccer team look like if it were made up of ELEVEN Keeleys?

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4:46 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Britney Spears Nude Pictures in Harper's Bazaar (Celebrity Secrets)





Well, it doesn't take much to make Britney Spears look good. Just a ton of makeup and hours of Photoshopping. But if these pictures of Britney Spears nude an pregnant are supposed to be sexy, Harper's Bazaar is on crack. Crack cocaine.

And before you go saying "she's not supposed to look sexy, they're celebrating the pregnant female form," keep in mind that you don't need to have Britney Spears on her back wrapped in a bear-skin rug/coat to celebrate the pregnant female form.

No, Britney Spears nude and pregnant really isn't something we should be seeing. That being said, there was no way I wasn't going to post these. So... Enjoy?

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4:20 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Ashlee Simpson Nude in Playboy? (Celebrity Secrets)





Okay, Heff, looks like it's time to up the offer. If Ashlee Simpson thinks $4 Million isn't enough to pose nude, lets go to $8 Million, or even $10 Million. Whatever it takes.

For those of you just joining us, TMZ is reporting that Ashlee Simpson has turned down Playboy's $4 Million dollar offer to pose nude in the magazine, but SFGate.com says that Ashlee might actually be considering the offer.

A source tells In Touch Weekly the 21-year-old is seriously considering the offer.

The insider says, "Ashlee figures she's never looked better, so this may be the perfect time to do it.

"She feels confident and sexy and thinks this is one way for her to separate her image from (sister) Jessica's."
Now remember Heff, everyone in Hollywood has there price, so don't stop trying until you get those great Ashlee Simpson nude pictures. Trust me, it'll be worth it. And don't worry, no one will post the pictures on the Internet...


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4:16 AM :: 0 comments ::

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Lindsay Lohan Kills Her Stylist (Celebrity Secrets)




Little Miss hard-partying Lindsay Lohan may be partying a bit too hard for some. Partying so hard, in fact, that her stylist, Nate Newell just couldn't keep up. According to Page Six, Lindsay's crazy movie promotion schedule, coupled with her incessant partying, led to Newell calling it quits. No, he didn't actually die. You take things so literally.

Lindsay Lohan keeps such a busy social schedule that the fashion stylist she flew out from Los Angeles to keep her company in New York last week couldn't handle it and begged his friends for help to get home.

Nate Newell simply couldn't keep up with the 19-year-old, and after three days of keeping Lohan company as she promoted "A Prairie Home Companion," he'd had enough.

"Lindsay flew Nate out and said it would only be for a couple days," our source said. "She flew him out, put him up, paid for everything, and they had the best time . . . at first. But then Lindsay decided to stay. Nate couldn't take her constant partying. He didn't have the money to fly home, so concerned friends chipped in to buy him an immediate ticket out of there."

Lohan was said to be so upset to have been ditched that she text-messaged some friends: "[Newell] is dead to me." She was also saying that Newell owes her for his portion of the hotel room, plane ticket and other expenses.

In just seven days, Lohan got into several verbal spats with Paris Hilton over their mutual boy toy, Stavros Niarchos, was seen at Bungalow 8 almost every night, had a dance-off at P.M., partied at Marquee, deejayed in the street for a Gap event, was kicked out of the SoHo House and got into a fight with Sean Combs at Butter - where she also threw glasses at owner Richie Akiva, according to our spies.

The late nights and the loss of her friend Newell must have gotten to Lohan. Thursday night, the freckled redhead was spotted on a sofa in the Hotel Gansevoort lobby sobbing before she headed down to the hotel's G-Spa club. That was the last Lohan sighting before she left to go back to L.A.
See that's what happens when you spend your nights fueled on cocaine magical fairy pixie dust and Red Bull. But always remember, the movie business is cut-throat, and if you don't have it in you to party for 30 hours a day, you're just not going to make it in the business. Or at least you won't be friends with Lindsay Lohan. Take your pick.

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4:08 AM :: 0 comments ::

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