Be Thankful For Lucy Pinder & Michelle Marsh's Sex Lessons

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I know I usually like to save my British babe posts for Friday but it is Thanksgiving and honestly what better way to celebrate than by getting sex lessons from UK'�s finest Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh. I mean, it sure beats eating turkey. Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Source: hollywoodtuna.com

7:27 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Bisexual Britney Spears? Britney's Sex Plot Thickens

Emily here y'all. Fatback is down south this week stirring up some news and corrupting sorority girls with his southern charm. Reports are spinning that Britney Spears has plans to release a homemade sex tape with soon-to-be ex-husband Kevin Federline in an effort to prevent Kevin from making profit from the sale.

The 'Toxic' singer was left fuming after Kevin reportedly threatened to sell the X-rated footage - which is said to feature the couple romping on their honeymoon - to online porn mogul David Hans Schmidt.
To prevent the former dancer from profiting from the footage, which could be worth up to 120 million, Britney has apparently made the decision to give it away for free.

Kevin, 28, allegedly offered the footage to Schmidt - who has been involved with several other celebrity sex tapes, including those of Colin Farrell and Paris Hilton - just a day after Britney filed for divorce.
Schmidt said: Two days after Britney filed for divorce I was contacted by an individual who indicated he had a digital video of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline having sex."

For some reason releasing a sex tape elevates one's celebrity into a category of hot only attainable by Brazilian models with broken English and smiles that will kill a man before dessert. Or, conversely, it casts you down into the category of trashy blondes [somehow always relevant in the media] occupied by Pam Anderson, Tara Reid and Paris Hilton. Either way, you’re headlining movie night at the men’s correctional facility and a goddess to pimple-faced prurient pre-teens. Everyone has goals. Like my goal to trap swoon an aging Saudi Prince and become queen of my own Carribean Island. Dare to dream, Britney.

Source: fatbackandcollards

7:17 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Christina Aguilera's Strip Show Hits The Road

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Pop singer Christina Aguilera's 'Back To Basics' tour will reportedly see her do a sultry strip tease routine - one, in which she will remove a flapper dress to reveal a vintage 20's swimsuit. According to inside reports, the show will be broken into three sections; 1920s, Juke Joint and Circus, and will feature the 'Dirrty' singer in over 15 scantily clad costumes. In one of the racier numbers, 'Nasty Naughty Boy,' Aguilera dressed in a bra and shorts, will bring a male audience member onstage and will shows off her S&M side by using five whips and a burning Wheel of Death.

This would be a pretty exciting show if it were 1998. I mean, the whole grab a guy on stage and tease him has been used many times before (ie, Janet Jackson, Jessica Simpson etc...). In this day and age, it's pretty tame. It would be nice if Christina Aguilera would be an innovator and step it up a notch by including a lesbian erotic couple show and then giving her male audience members what they really want: naked lap dances. Now that's a concert I would go to. I'd even pay a little extra too.

Source: hollywoodtuna.com

6:39 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Jessica Alba Is The Sexiest Substitute

She's not only one of the sexiest young stars in Hollywood, but as a new National Education Association online poll found out, actress Jessica Alba is also the celeb people would love to see as their substitute teacher. The 'Fantastic Four' actress topped the poll by bagging approximately 46 percent of the votes.

I keep smashing my own head against the wall at the thought of this poll becoming a reality. I mean, I would've KILLED for someone that looks like Jessica Alba to be my substitute teacher back in high school. If she were my teacher I know three things for sure: I wouldn't get a shred of work done, I'd have to strategically position my binders over my crotch every time I stood up, and bad porno music would be playing over and over in my head all through class. Oh yeah, and I'd have to excuse myself every five minutes to go take care of some ''business'' in the bathroom. Or however long it would take to, er, ''reload'' - although with Jessica as my teacher that could be anywhere between 30 to 60 seconds at the most.

Source: hollywoodtuna.com

5:40 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Is Jessica Simpson Drunk On Love?

After a false start, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are giving dating a try again. The couple met up for an hour-long lunch at Paradise Cove Beach Cafe in Malibu, California, on November 12.

''She didn't eat much,'' a witness says. ''She drank double vodka cranberries. When they got up, Jessica was rubbing his back. You could definitely tell they were on a date.'' Mayer left a $40 tip on the $100 bill.

That John Mayer is very smooth, and seems to have an arsenal of tricks up his sleeve to win Jessica Simpson's love. The guy is a multi-million selling recording artist. You'd think that in itself would have most girls kissing his feet, but wait, there's more. By leaving such a huge tip, it shows her that he's generous too. More points for Johnny boy! And finally, what better way to win a fair maiden's heart than by getting her liquored up on double vodkas in the middle of the afternoon! I've used this same technique myself when wooing a lady, and the outcome is guaranteed nudity. I prefer to buy them triples though. I don't like leaving anything to chance.

Source: hollywoodtuna.com

5:32 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Tia Carrere: The Original Queen Of ''Schwing!'' Is Back!

Remember Wayne and Garth head-banging along to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody in the Wayne's World movie? That flick had no shortage of memorable,''excellent!''moments. But let’s be honest here; what I remember most about that movie was being 16 years-old and falling in love with Tia Carrere. But then she scraped bottom on bad syndicated TV shows and direct-to-video movies, and a few random tabloid photos over the years suggested that the Tia I once knew and loved had fallen prey to gravity and doughnuts.

But now, ladies and gentleman, may I present to you the new, improved Tia Carrere. All it took were some souped up body parts (I’ll let you guess which) and a see-through top to thrust her back in the spotlight. I hope all you washed-up celebrities are taking notice. You can learn something from Tia.

Source: hollywoodtuna.com

5:21 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Where the Hell Is Eliza Dushku?

I don't know where Eliza Dushku has been hiding, but it's about time she got her ass into a photoshoot. And it's one heck of a photoshoot. The last row of pictures pretty much makes up for Eliza's absence. Sorry for the size of the pictures, I know they’re small but they affect me in a big way.

Source: popoholic.com

5:08 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Miss Britain 2006 Danielle Lloyd

In case you guys didn't know, Danielle Lloyd holds the title of Miss Britain 2006. She IS hot, but I'll tell you what she ISN'T: Smart.

When asked ''Who was Winston Churchill - a rapper, US President, the PM or King?'', Lloyd answered ''Wasn't he the first black president of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.''

Obviously she's not a Horny Oyster Girl for her math skills.

Source: hornyoyster.com

5:05 AM :: 0 comments

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janangel :: permalink

Sophie Howard is a KNOCKOUT! (excuse the cliche)

I actually think Sophie Howard would make a pretty good female boxer. She looks like she's in good shape. And if one of her punches doesn't K.O. her opponent, she can always swing one of her tits. If she connects squarely with one of them, it's lights out for the opposition. I mean c'mon, they must be like potato sacks full of wet sand!

Source: hornyoyster.com